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It seems as though the Mormons have
a "handle" on the situation.
a Guide to Self Control... OVERCOMING
MASTURBATION
distributed by the LDS Church at Brigham Young University
The attitude a person has toward his problem has an effect on
how easily it is overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment
be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons
for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations
that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to
control it.
We are taught that our bodies
are temples of God, and are to be clean so that the Holy Ghost
may dwell within us. Masturbation is a sinful habit that robs
one of the Spirit and creates guilt and emotional stress. It is
not physically harmful unless practiced in the extreme. It is
a habit that is totally self-centered, and secretive, and in no
way expresses the proper use of the procreative power given to
man to fulfill eternal purposes. It therefore separates a person
from God, and defeats the gospel plan.
This self-gratifying activity
will cause one to lose his self-respect and feel guilty and depressed,
which can in the extreme lead to further sinning. As a person
feels spiritually unclean, he loses interest in prayer, his testimony
becomes weak, and missionary work and other Church callings become
burdensome, offering no joy and limited success.
To help in planning an effective
program to overcome the problem, a brief explanation is given
of how the reproductive organs in a young man function.
The testes in your body are
continuously producing hundreds of millions of reproductive cells
called spermatozoa. These are moved up a tube called the vas deferens
to a place called the ampulla where they are mixed with fluids
from two membranous pouches called seminal vesicles and the prostate
gland. The resultant fluid is called semen. When the seminal vesicles
are full a signal is sent to the central nervous system indicating
they are ready to be emptied. The rate at which this filling takes
place varies greatly from one person to another, depending on
such things as diet, exercise, state of health, etc. For some
it may be several times a week, for others twice a month, and
for others hardly ever.
It is normal for the vesicles
to be emptied occasionally at night during sleep. This is called
a "wet dream". The impulses that cause the emptying
come from the central nervous system. Often an erotic dream is
experienced at the same time, and is part of the normal process.
If a young man has constantly masturbated instead of letting nature
take its course, the reproductive system is operating at a more
rapid pace, trying to keep up with the loss of semen. When he
stops the habit, the body will continue to produce at this increased
rate for an indefinite period of time, creating sexual tensions
and pressure. These are not harmful and are to be endured until
the normal central nervous system's pathway of release is once
again established.
During this period of control
several things can be done to make the process easier and more
effective. As one meets with his priesthood leader, a program
for overcoming masturbation can be implemented using some of the
suggestions which follow. Remember it is essential that a regular
report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and
failures understood and eliminated.
SUGGESTIONS
- Pray daily, ask for the
gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you against temptation.
Pray fervently and out loud when the temptations are the strongest.
- Follow a program of vigorous
daily exercise. These exercises reduce emotional tensions and
depression and are absolutely basic to the solution of this problem.
Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing.
- When the temptation to masturbate
is strong, yell stop to those thoughts as loudly as you can in
your mind and then recite a pre-chosen scripture or sing an inspirational
hymn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish
need to indulge.
- Set goals of abstinence,
begin with a day, then a week, month, year, and finally commit
to never doing it again. Until you commit yourself to never again
you will always be open to temptation.
- Change in behavior and attitude
is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time
every day imagining yourself strong and in control, easily overcoming
tempting situations.
- Begin to work daily on a
self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your
church service, to improving your relationships with your family,
God and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents.
- Be outgoing and friendly.
Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and
talking with them. Use principles of developing friendships found
in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People
by Dale Carnegie.
- Be aware of situations that
depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated,
or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire
to masturbate as a way of escape. Plan in advance to counter
these low periods through various activities, such as reading
a book, visiting a friend, doing something athletic, etc.
- Make a pocket calendar for
a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no
one. If you have a lapse of self-control color that day black.
Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes
a strong visual reminder of self-control and should be looked
at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar
up until you have at least three clear months.
- A careful study will indicate
you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions.
Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions
were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the
pattern through counter-activities.
- In the field of psychotherapy
there is a very effective technique called aversion therapy.
When we associate or think of something very distasteful with
something which has been pleasurable, but undesirable, the distasteful
thought and feeling will begin to cancel out that which was pleasurable.
If you associate something very distasteful with your loss of
self-control it will help you stop the act. For example, if you
are tempted to masturbate think of having to bathe in a tub of
worms, and eat several of them as you do the act.
- During your toilet and shower
activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain partly open,
to discourage being along in total privacy. Take cool brief showers.
- Arise immediately in the
mornings. Do not lie in bed awake, no matter what time of day
it is. Get up and do something. Start each day with an enthusiastic
activity.
- Keep your bladder empty.
Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring.
- Reduce the amount of spices
and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.
- Wear pajamas that are difficult
to open, yet loose and not binding.
- Avoid people, situations,
pictures or reading materials that might create sexual excitement.
- It is sometimes helpful
to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem.
A Book of Mormon, firmly held in hand, even in bed at night has
proven helpful in extreme cases.
- In very severe cases it
may be necessary to tie a hand to the bed frame with a tie in
order that the habit of masturbating in a semi-sleep condition
can be broken. This can also be accomplished by wearing several
layers of clothing which would be difficult to remove while half-asleep.
- Set up a reward system for
your successes. It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter
in a receptacle each time you overcome or reach a goal. Spend
it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder
of your progress.
- Do not let yourself return
to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your
problem. Satan never gives up. Be calmly and confidently on guard.
Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The
joy and strength you will feel when you do will give your whole
life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment.
STEPS IN OVERCOMING MASTURBATION
Be assured that you can be
cured of your difficulty. Many have been, both male and female,
and you can be also if you determine that it must be so.
This determination is the
first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will
end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem
will be greatly reduced at once.
- But it must be more than
a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you.
It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind
that you will be cured, then you will have the strength to resist
any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may
come to you. After you have made this decision, then observe
the following specific guidelines:
- Never touch the intimate
parts of your body expect during normal toilet processes.
- Avoid being alone as much
as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company.
- If you are associated with
other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR
FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same
weakness. Don't suppose that two of you will quit together, you
never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just
to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your
mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is
where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome
things.
- When you bathe, do not admire
yourself in a mirror. Never stay in the bath more than five or
six minutes--just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND
THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have
some member of your family present.
- When in bed, if that is
where you have your problem for the most part, dress yourself
for the night so securely that you cannot easily touch your vital
parts, and so that it would be difficult and time consuming for
you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove
protective clothing, you would have sufficiently controlled your
thinking that the temptation would leave you.
- If the temptation seems
overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED AND GO INTO
THE KITCHEN AND FIX YOURSELF A SNACK, even if it is in the middle
of the night, and even if you are not hungry, and despite your
fears of gaining weight. The purpose behind this suggestion is
that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You change the subject
of your thoughts, so to speak.
- Never read pornographic
material. Never read about your problem. Keep it out of your
mind. Remember--"first a thought, then an act." The
thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem
to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will
be free of the act.
- Put wholesome thoughts into
your mind at all times. Read good books--Church books-scriptures--sermons
of the brethren. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter
of scripture, preferable from one of the four gospels in the
New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four gospels--Matthew,
Mark, Luke and John--above anything else in the Bible can be
helpful because of their uplifting qualities.
- Pray. But when you pray,
don't pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it
in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding
of the scriptures, pray for the missionaries, the General Authorities,
your friends, your families, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR
MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVER--NOT IN CONVERSATION WITH OTHERS,
NOT IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT OUT of your mind!
reprints:
The Utah Liberation Army
P.O. Box 11563
Salt Lake City,
Utah 84147
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